i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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