I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize