you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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