I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize