my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
