JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
