Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
