i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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