okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
