how do flat chested girls get laid?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize