Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
