we have pet lesbian snakes
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My feet surprised me
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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