We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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