I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So much Jack, so little girl.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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