if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
