It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
