you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
