when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
