Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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