did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
