nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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