We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
