Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
