the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
