it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
