last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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