she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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