she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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