Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
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He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
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if i bang your brother are we still cool?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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