you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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