I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
