so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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