I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
