we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
