That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
