her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
