id be glad to
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
