Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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