if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
