i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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