I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
