A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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