dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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