fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
