Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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