I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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