I heard we made out
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
