ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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