Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
