I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
