You can't special order awesome
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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