I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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