She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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