At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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