hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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