We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
