Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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