I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
