fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
