exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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