So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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